Feedback is a tool that can turn an ordinary person into a star, and a star into a superstar. Except that few people like to give their colleagues (and not only them) critical feedback. Even fewer people know how to do it.
The book “Feedback” is a system to help give feedback with minimum stress and maximum benefit. Have critical conversations so that your words want to be listened to. And turn small victories into turning points for the entire team.
Inside is non-boring theory, a breakdown of successful and failed conversations, and 6 entire workshops from cognitive psychologist, Microsoft and Amazon consultant Teresa Houston
Approval, Coaching, Evaluation
Houston divides feedback into three types: approval, coaching, and evaluation. Approval lets us know that our work is noticed and appreciated. Coaching helps determine next steps. And evaluation shows where we stand now and what to expect in the future.
All three types are necessary for each of us. The problem is that we often do not know which type is more useful right now. For example, a coworker needs approval, and we pry with advice. Of course, they fly by.
An easy way to understand what the person you’re talking to needs right now is to ask him or her yourself. Just keep in mind: newcomers need approval more than they’re willing to admit. Don’t be stingy with your praise.
Whose side are you on?
When you have to discuss a problem, the easiest thing to do is to mentally stand by it. Then we say something like, “You’re constantly procrastinating. Try to work faster.”
Criticism from this position is the most painful (and unhelpful). It is better to show that you are willing to solve the problem together. When the person feels supported, it is easier to listen to the bitter truth, because he knows: he won’t have to fight it alone.
Taking the side of the employee does not mean finding someone else to blame or refusing to solve the problem. It means: “What you do matters to me. You are important to me. I talk about the problem because I know you can handle it.”
I-Power and We-Power
Each of us has a “We-Power” and a “I-Power.
“We-power” is something that goes to the benefit of the whole company: say, the ability to organize a meeting or sell investors an idea. “I-power” is what causes you to be invigorated and inspired. For example, you’re willing to spend hours on PowerPoint presentations.
“We-power” and “I-power” are not always the same. And you have to work with them in different ways.
In order for a colleague to show “We-Power” more often, it should be constantly celebrated and made a source of pride. “I-strength” makes a person happy in and of itself. Just give him the opportunity to spend at least an hour or two doing what he loves at work.
A little better is great
Researchers have found: brilliant teams that bring in astronomical revenue and delight customers receive an average of 5.6 praise for every criticism
. So where do we get that much praise?
Again, research results: what we value most is the feeling of having taken a step forward. You don’t have to wait for a major victory: it’s enough to celebrate what has gotten a little better. Suppose Sergei is learning how to negotiate. He hasn’t yet managed to close a major deal, but he has become better at preparing for meetings. This is worth noting.
At MIF we regularly hold workshops on feedback and learn how to give it constructively. We’ve also started a gratitude wall so we can praise each other more.
“Self-esteem balm” people sometimes value more than their favorite food or sexual pleasure. Pizza or ice cream? That’s nice. To hear a respected person say I’m good? Priceless.
A complete guide on how to give effective feedback: to colleagues, subordinates, supervisors, and others in general. And lots of practical advice
- “Listener-killer”: what to do to never want to talk to you again
- SPASU algorithm: how to relieve stress during a critical conversation
- How to stop criticizing everyone and everything
- Why anxiety and learning are incompatible
- Workshop #1: Celebrating Strengths
Imagine that you have the ability to help people discover their talents. That employees consider you an inspirational leader and loved ones consider you an empathetic and wise person. The ability to give feedback is that ability. Take advantage of it.
Cover post – unsplash.com
Based on “Feedback
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