Every person is unique, and so is their life path. But what we all have in common are the factors that shape personality and influence destiny. Founder of several successful companies, a well-known business mentor, father of six children, Vladimir Mozhenkov in his book “Goal – Action – Result” identified six factors that shape the personality. These are:
) life partner;
Let us consider each factor in more detail. A word to Vladimir.
Russians have very strong genes. This can be explained by centuries of accumulated experience. It was relatively easy to live in Turkey, Greece, Italy: you could sleep under a tree, climb a palm tree for fruits – eat, swim in the sea. And how did our ancestors live? There were forests all around, no roads, bears roamed. When you get cold you chop some wood and build a house. They needed water – go to the river 3 km away. Surviving had to become stronger. And these “hardened” genes our ancestors passed on to us.
Scientists say that the genome determines character by 50%. It hasn’t been proven exactly, but needless to say, genes have a powerful effect on our lives.
Before a child goes to kindergarten and school, mom and dad are the main authorities in life. I remember our family: they say one thing on TV (that we live in the best country in the world, and the other nations bite their elbows – so jealous of us), but my mom and dad say something else. Or you open the Pravda newspaper, but there is no truth in it; there is no news in Izvestia. You don’t believe it. But you believe your parents when they are talking in a whisper in the kitchen. That’s the difference, that’s the importance of education.
Parenting lays important foundations. Source
I went to engineering school, worked in my specialty. And if I had gone to the pedagogical or medical school, my life would have been different. But I did not even consider such options, because I felt: it was not mine, why should I suffer?
I am grateful to my parents for giving me the opportunity to decide for myself where to go and what to do with my life. I know a lot of cases where children were predetermined before birth: a boy will be a doctor, a girl – an interpreter. As a result we end up with unhappy people who have come into this world with different desires and strengths, and who have to suffer the rest of their lives because of the profession they do not like.
I graduated from the Faculty of Industrial Transport, and was assigned to the largest military factory of the Tula Region. I, an unsophisticated engineer, was appointed Head of a locomotive depot. It was no joke: 10 units of locomotive equipment, 130 people reported to me – electricians, machinists and their assistants, fitters… Three productions: one worked for the Land Forces, the second for the Air Forces, and the third one was installed on every submarine.
Continuous production: 365 days a year, 24 hours a day. The cargo is explosive. And I, let me remind you, am only after institute, I am 22 years old. How not to screw up? I need an iron discipline, I have a huge responsibility. Like a switchman on the railroad: of course you can be late for a second, but what will be the consequences
In the end, I made it. And I am convinced that the profession has polished me.
We are also greatly influenced by the product with which we work. When I started selling Audi cars, I realized: a new modern car is the Mona Lisa of the XXI century made of metal, glass and electronics. A work of art! And it became interesting to me to work with this product.
I’m sure: you should choose a profession and a product to your liking.
Otherwise you will suffer. It is possible, of course, to produce alcohol and talk down to you: “Let me teach you all how to do business”. But alcohol, in my opinion, is toxic not only chemically, but also morally. So are cigarettes.
And the product should be of high quality and useful, so that you use it yourself and see how it brings pleasure to others.
5. Life Companion
You may have noticed how husband and wife become more and more alike with each year of life together. Check it out for yourself: look at photos from when they were dating and compare them to photos after 20 years together. Feel the difference, as the advertisement urged!
There is a scientific explanation: the similarity arises in part because of the same diet and eating habits. But mostly spouses simply copy each other’s facial expressions. It is believed that couples in which people acquire similar traits are happier.
I am a happy person. I believe in love at first sight.
Once, on January 20, 1980, I was on my way back from a tournament in Volgograd as a member of the masters handball team. When I walked into the airport waiting room, I saw a beautiful girl. My legs buckled: I realized that I had fallen in love for life.
The girl was sitting next to a young man, but I was no longer interested. When we got off the plane, I rubbed the guy’s shoulder and said, “Let me get your purse. Since then I’ve been carrying my purse.
And on October 1 we got married. The wedding was modest: we celebrated with my father-in-law and mother-in-law in a kitchen of six square meters. But I did not need anything else: the main thing was to have my wife by my side.
More than 40 years have passed since then. We celebrated our ruby wedding anniversary in 2020.
How do I rate these years? There was tons of joy and happiness: three sons and three daughters, seven grandchildren, a house and garden, pets. But there were hardships, too. The three of us lived in a dormitory of eight square meters. We moved nine times until we found a place we loved and appreciated.
Sometimes I sold books to buy a loaf of bread, and sometimes there was no money at all. But when you know that there is a reliable and beloved person near you, you do everything to make him feel good, you rush up to the limit.
We choose our surroundings first, and then they shape us. Creating an environment is not an easy task, but a very important one. They should be interesting (so you don’t get bored), smart (so you don’t get stupid), understanding (so they can be supportive and helpful). And to be on the same page with you.
And you also need to clean up your environment. Get rid of toxic characters: “vestigators,” whiners, assholes. Mercilessly cross them out of your life, delete their phone numbers, do not communicate. Don’t date. Why ruin your life? There are a lot of smart, interesting, decent people in the world, which you need to find, build a relationship with them. Yes, it will take time, but the result will be worth it.
By doing this, you’re doing these toxic characters a favor yourself. Because they spend their whole life trying to put the burden of their worries on those around them – if not financially, then psychologically. And only if they see that people start to turn away from them can they seriously think: am I doing the right thing in this life? And in the end at least change a little bit.
What can be changed?
Now let’s look at which of these magnificent six we can actually influence.
Upbringing? More a question for teachers and parents.
Education? Yes! Live and learn. Especially now, when the world is constantly changing and is not going to stop.
For a life partner? Of course, it’s our choice. We choose our partner and our behavior in the relationship with him or her. My approach is to love and care. What is love? It’s the art of doing. When you give more than you receive. You don’t sit and wait: I love him, now what will he do for me? Love is action!
On the environment? Yes, we shape it, we polish it. It is not for nothing they say: tell me what books you read, what goals you have, and what five people surround you, and I will tell you what you will become in 5-10 years.
On the profession? Yes, we choose and improve skills.
Even though we do not influence all of these factors, but still we have enough leverage to build an interesting, harmonious, and most importantly, our own life. To be happy and experience the joy of life, you need to be a whole person. And this is impossible without being yourself in every situation.
From the book “Goal – Action – Result
Cover of the post: unsplash.com
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